tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1333541691333550838.post1793923390902276714..comments2024-03-26T09:01:16.368-07:00Comments on I Hate Cheryl Strayed: The Stupid Fucking Movie, Part FiveCalifohioanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11663315815873691593noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1333541691333550838.post-10734818314543655932022-01-27T00:07:57.750-08:002022-01-27T00:07:57.750-08:00Your description of walking on the beach is wonder...Your description of walking on the beach is wonderful. This is what I read Wild for; descriptions of walking the length of the trail. Topography and sites you don't otherwise see, that would stay with me, like the waves turning ice blue in the sunrise. Instead, there's a whole bunch of meaningless chowder from her miserable life. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01283770998475116907noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1333541691333550838.post-68716976940627934992018-07-08T21:24:01.356-07:002018-07-08T21:24:01.356-07:00ExaaaaaaaactlyExaaaaaaaactlyCaseyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11544947872905810999noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1333541691333550838.post-91768354361744541812015-03-17T13:46:18.714-07:002015-03-17T13:46:18.714-07:00I just read the Washington Post interview. Gushin...I just read the Washington Post interview. Gushing, stupid & sickening. I had to throw up and then gargle with Listerine. I did notice, no comments underneath, so far. I was going to write something and then thought, no. Hopefully, this will be ignored...crickets...would be enough of an insult. Cindi Thttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06645057719444293726noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1333541691333550838.post-10238926851769734122015-03-17T13:39:13.596-07:002015-03-17T13:39:13.596-07:00One other thing, I loved the description of your m...One other thing, I loved the description of your morning run. I have never had the pleasure of seeing the waves of the Pacific, crashing in the moonlight...even when I was in Hawaii. It sounds so wonderful! I am so happy you had that memory to sustain you and give you strength as you waded through Cheese's muck.Cindi Thttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06645057719444293726noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1333541691333550838.post-78346313314453448152015-03-17T13:34:53.606-07:002015-03-17T13:34:53.606-07:00Your review is hilarious, as usual, Erin! I feel ...Your review is hilarious, as usual, Erin! I feel a twinge of guilt, though, because I know you are truly suffering. I do hope your eyeball rolls ("I was rolling my eyes too violently"...OMG, I can't stop laughing!) do not cause permanent damage. I've realized that in addition to Cheryl being a sociopath, Hornsby must be schizophrenic...and "M. Night Shyamalan apparently had a 5-second directorial guest spot"...pure brilliance, Erin! Thanks for replaying the "taking back the night / rapey caterpillar part. This is so funny! Do you ever listen to "The Moth"? I just had a thought...you would kill with this story! Cindi Thttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06645057719444293726noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1333541691333550838.post-16405516623197838432015-03-17T13:17:18.863-07:002015-03-17T13:17:18.863-07:00I do, too! That was perfect, Tori!
I am so sor...I do, too! That was perfect, Tori! <br /><br />I am so sorry about you having to do the search & rescue. This is probably going to be a busy as hell year for you and the other rescuers. Cindi Thttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06645057719444293726noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1333541691333550838.post-87091217563056230002015-03-15T19:22:45.966-07:002015-03-15T19:22:45.966-07:00Have to admit, it was a toss up.Have to admit, it was a toss up.Johnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05331957965479563128noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1333541691333550838.post-15570776411157995472015-03-15T11:58:07.410-07:002015-03-15T11:58:07.410-07:00I'm guessing I should assume that the article ...I'm guessing I should assume that the article was not about what a big fucking liar she is.Califohioanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11663315815873691593noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1333541691333550838.post-37557722460047392032015-03-15T11:48:20.293-07:002015-03-15T11:48:20.293-07:00The Washington Post did an article on Cheryl. Ugh...The Washington Post did an article on Cheryl. Ugh.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1333541691333550838.post-53714237315012212032015-03-15T10:50:40.387-07:002015-03-15T10:50:40.387-07:00Are you sure "insanity" wouldn't be ...Are you sure "insanity" wouldn't be more apt?Califohioanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11663315815873691593noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1333541691333550838.post-85925853367698586812015-03-15T10:42:05.580-07:002015-03-15T10:42:05.580-07:00The patron saint of sanity.The patron saint of sanity.Johnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05331957965479563128noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1333541691333550838.post-21514234474446081382015-03-15T10:38:03.098-07:002015-03-15T10:38:03.098-07:00Your clear and beautiful description of moonlight ...Your clear and beautiful description of moonlight and sunrise at the coast brought me back to camping on the bluffs of Encinitas, and night-body-surfing at Seal Beach in the 60s. Thanks. (Now I live five miles from where CS didn't see the fox, and will be wandering around up there later today.)<br />Johnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05331957965479563128noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1333541691333550838.post-84338542202212326502015-03-14T05:32:34.275-07:002015-03-14T05:32:34.275-07:00Tori, I love you so hard.Tori, I love you so hard.Califohioanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11663315815873691593noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1333541691333550838.post-35111066358853596222015-03-14T05:31:58.485-07:002015-03-14T05:31:58.485-07:00I'm... pretty sure we don't have saints, b...I'm... pretty sure we don't have saints, but I would be honored to be named the first (especially upon your nomination). Please fill in the blank:<br /><br />"Saint Califohioan, the patron saint of____________________"Califohioanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11663315815873691593noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1333541691333550838.post-61324864921953624162015-03-13T23:38:11.112-07:002015-03-13T23:38:11.112-07:00Ok just reread all the movie review posts and laug...Ok just reread all the movie review posts and laughed as hard as I did the first time at her Taking Back The Night against the rapey caterpillar. In fairness, all of Cheese's dribble has started running together in my mind like a really bad drug-addled flashback and since I haven't seen the movie 72 times like you have, it's hard to keep her insanity straight. Do atheists have saints? If so, how do I nominate you? Making it through this blog without killing yourself (or one of us, or Cheese) must be worth at least three miracles. Alisonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08988362711344666377noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1333541691333550838.post-55499444806448615212015-03-13T23:05:19.676-07:002015-03-13T23:05:19.676-07:00Sounds pretty accurate, actually. Sounds pretty accurate, actually. Alisonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08988362711344666377noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1333541691333550838.post-33694559236948157412015-03-13T20:42:00.877-07:002015-03-13T20:42:00.877-07:00That's cuz I'm gangsta'! Straight outt...That's cuz I'm gangsta'! Straight outta' Simi Valley... werd.<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1333541691333550838.post-58559083529677675312015-03-13T13:12:48.613-07:002015-03-13T13:12:48.613-07:00Alison, I think maybe we need to explore how much ...Alison, I think maybe we need to explore how much you've been drinking as you've been reading this blog. There is no rapey caterpillar in the book, just in the movie. I can't even begin to imagine how Cheryl would have written that sort of thing out.<br /><br />But let me try, anyway, since it's my job.<br /><br />"Shattered by my fear, I stood, frozen like something you'd find in a freezer, as the caterpillar looked over my hot, exquisite body.<br /><br />"'I like your wife-beater,' it said to me, 'or *tank top*, if that's what it's called.'"<br /><br />"I willed myself not to be afraid, but I failed and failed and failed. I was profoundly scared. I thought of my mother, as I always did whenever I felt uncomfortable around a suspicious caterpillar, and remembered how, dying in her hospital bed, she had told me I was a winner. I hadn't really paid much attention at the time because there was a penis in the room and I was staring at it, but now, suddenly, her words struck home. I *was* a winner. A hard-ass, motherfucking Spartan winner, and this caterpillar had nothing on me."<br /><br /><br />That probably wasn't dumb enough.Califohioanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11663315815873691593noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1333541691333550838.post-4866898875010044932015-03-13T09:45:14.240-07:002015-03-13T09:45:14.240-07:00"...stealing all her bits of money..." O..."...stealing all her bits of money..." OMFG! <br /><br />I also loved Tori's use of "nappy dugout!" I havent heard that since the 90's when I was listening to Ice Cube. testhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12088931114821758063noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1333541691333550838.post-2373005782460599782015-03-13T08:20:42.574-07:002015-03-13T08:20:42.574-07:00Oh damn, did I miss the rapey caterpillar in the m...Oh damn, did I miss the rapey caterpillar in the movie review? Dang it. Guess I'll have to go back and reread them. Shucks. Alisonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08988362711344666377noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1333541691333550838.post-26888985366447859582015-03-13T04:41:52.136-07:002015-03-13T04:41:52.136-07:00You mean *another* rapey caterpillar? Jesus, Alis...You mean *another* rapey caterpillar? Jesus, Alison, how many do you need in one movie?Califohioanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11663315815873691593noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1333541691333550838.post-44083770312983708242015-03-12T22:37:22.566-07:002015-03-12T22:37:22.566-07:00This was the worst part of the movie for me. And,...This was the worst part of the movie for me. And, sorry for my absense, but because of Strayed's fucking nonsense, I had to respond to three search and rescue calls out near Agua Dulce and North in the last ten days...people see this piece of shit movie and think they, too, can act like an irresponsible ass monkey and hike into the WILD unprepared cuz' Cheryl did. I swear someone should bill her. <br /><br />Anyway, the scene with the hunter-rapers was so poorly filmed. There's a point where the dialogue is so fucking cheesy that you just want to clobber someone over the head. Here's the 411- rapists don't talk about raping you, they just fucking do it. Standing there talking about the victims sweet assets only happens in lifetime movies and Strayed novels. We're supposed to view these guys as a threat because, after throwing her nappy dugout at everyone for six hundred miles and carrying condoms on a hike and describing every male hiker in the same, sexually graphic way that these men allegedly describe Cheryl, she suddenly feels threatened? Let's play a game. Guess who said the following lines in the movie or book.<br />1. "Fuck. I wanted him/her."<br />2. ""I eyed the bulge in his pants and felt a familiar wetness."<br />3. "Condoms were necessary."<br />4. "The fabric hugged him/her in all the right places."<br />5. "I wanted to be ravaged."<br />If you guessed that these were things the rapey hunters said, you're wrong. Those words and images came from Cheryl. A woman who objectified and sexualized every God damn man on the trail, but balks as the guys who carry Pepsi and ask for water. She got into no less than three vehicles with drunk or stoned people and laid down with two of them, but whoa, whoa...The allegedly thirsty hunters ask for water and she loses her mind? She is the worst judge of character ever. <br /><br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1333541691333550838.post-10208132281619624522015-03-12T22:29:20.479-07:002015-03-12T22:29:20.479-07:00If there is not a rapey caterpillar in this movie,...If there is not a rapey caterpillar in this movie, I'm going to be so disappointed. (Because I apparently am not disappointed enough in humanity by their fawning over this book/movie). Alisonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08988362711344666377noreply@blogger.com