Saturday, February 28, 2015

MOVIE REVIEW PART FOUR EXCEPT NOT

THIS ENTIRE POST WILL BE IN CAPS.


FUCK THIS FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT FUCKING MOVIE LINK I'VE BEEN USING.

I REFUSE TO PLAY THIS STUPID FUCKNG MOVIE ONE MORE GODDAMNED TIME.  I SPENT THE PAST HOUR DOING SOMETHING ELSE SO I WOULDN'T HAVE TO WATCH THIS SHIT AGAIN AND JUST AS I GOT TO THE PART OF THE MOVIE I NEED TO REVIEW NEXT, MY PHONE RANG AND I HAD THE AUDACITY TO HIT 'PAUSE' ON THE MOVIE.  GUESS FUCKING WHAT, MY COMPUTER DECIDED TO THREATEN SUICIDE AND I HAD TO SHUT IT DOWN, ALL BECAUSE I HIT 'PAUSE,' AND THIS HAS HAPPENED MORE THAN ONCE.

I WILL NOT REVIEW THE REST OF THIS DUMB FUCKING MOVIE UNLESS SOMEONE SENDS ME A COPY OF IT THAT I CAN PLAY IN MY DVD PLAYER.  I'M NOT DOING THIS ANYMORE.  I HAVE WASTED ENOUGH OF MY LIFE ON ALL OF CHERYL'S STUPID BULLSHIT AND I REFUSE TO START THIS PIECE OF SHIT MOVIE FROM THE START ONE MORE GODDAMNED TIME.



I'VE ACTUALLY CALMED DOWN AT THIS POINT, BUT WRITING IN ALL CAPS MAKES ME LAUGH BECAUSE YOU'RE BEING FORCED TO READ EVERY WORD OF THIS AS IF I'M SCREAMING AT YOU.  I WANT SO BADLY TO WRITE LIKE A NORMAL PERSON RIGHT NOW, BUT I ALREADY SAID THAT THIS ENTIRE POST WOULD BE WRITTEN IN CAPS. 

I PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT THROUGH. 

I'M GONNA STOP WRITING NOW.



18 comments:

  1. I've got it, but I can't email it. :( I sat through it last night with a friend. Arg.

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    Replies
    1. Can you mail it? I will reimburse you for postage.

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    2. As much as I would love to, I'm not quite willing to commit a felony by utilizing the USPS. Try that site that rhymes with "hit forrant". Seems like several Oscar copies were made available recently. Cheryl strikes me as someone who would cry foul if we mailed it. :(

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  2. You know that was part of Cheese's contract, right? There is a bug in the movie code that makes it impossible to watch it from any spot but the beginning. And if you try to, it will infect your computer with data herpes.

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    Replies
    1. Hahahahaha, "data herpes." Only Cheryl Strayed could give my laptop herpes.

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  3. And over. And over. And over.

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    Replies
    1. This makes me cry and cry and cry.

      It's actually raining in San Diego today, so I had to scrap the 30-miler I had planned. You guys might get lucky. I'm no good at sitting around doing nothing and I might force myself to give the dumb fucking movie another shot.

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  4. Not sure what... source... you're using, but have you tried tubeoffline.com?

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    Replies
    1. I have not, but I'm sure gonna go look that up right now. Thank you in advance if this works.

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  5. I kinda liked the all caps...I didn't feel like you were yelling at us, but just yelling in frustration. I feel your pain. Speaking of that, is anyone else here a member of Costco? I am & received the monthly magazine yesterday. Guess what is on the entire cover page! Cheese...not real cheese, Cheryl-Reese from the stupid movie! The entire cover is a photo of Cheese, hiking. Yesterday, before I got the mail, I was shopping at Costco & I always go by the books & saw that stupid book there, too. I was already in a bad mood by the time I got my mail. Shit. I am writing to Costco, too. I did write to Oprah last week about the stupid book a couple of weeks ago. No reply, of course.

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    Replies
    1. Cindi, I just love you. We MUST meet up next year when I hike the ADT. I don't even care if I have to go hundreds of miles out of my way to meet you. I want to give you a hug so badly. (I would, however, appreciate it so much if you drove down and met me. The hike is going to be long enough as it is.)

      Another reader let me know about the Costco b.s. and I'm just so disappointed, especially since I'm tired of my current job and actually considered Costco as a potential employer. REI actually had her host a speaking engagement at one of their stores and I am just dumbfounded. HAS NO ONE ELSE ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET LOOKED INTO THE VALIDITY OF HER CLAIMS OTHER THAN ME? Publicly, that is.

      Sigh.

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    2. "All lies and jest, still, a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest -- Lie-la-lie..."

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    3. There are stupid people everywhere - don't let this little blunder interfere with your future career path. It's a blip on the radar of life. If Costco is a good company, you can improve it. They just sell stuff, few people really think about it to any great extent. If it's selling, they'll have it.

      Now, REI is a different matter entirely. If I were on their BOD, I'd be wondering what caliber of people I had underneath me, to allow this piece of crap to represent my stores to the general public. I guess any publicity is good publicity, but Stupid on Two Legs Strayed isn't great publicity, IMO.

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    4. In REI's defense, the book and movie are practically an advertisement for REI, possibly even due to an actual product placement agreement. So they kind of have to buy in. They might not have realized until it was too late that she was full of shit.

      Regardless, it would be a poor business decision for them to distance themselves from either the book or the movie at this point, even if they have to grit their teeth while they embrace her bogus tale. REI is a business, and in the end it appears that plenty of people have been suckered by Cheryl. Those consumers just may head down to their local REI (with a Snapple in hand) and buy lots of gear.

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    5. I LOVE you, too, Erin! Yes, I am definitely planning on meeting you on the ADT trail. I've been on the ADT website several times, & I'm planning on buying a map & guidebook, soon (I DO like being prepared unlike some dimwits)! Do you have a recommendation for a guidebook?

      As Juliane & Facilman have said, Costco & REI are business who rely on selling stuff the public wants. For that matter, so does Oprah. But, that doesn't stop us from writing to them! I think they do listen. Cheryl/Cheese (the stupid book & movie) are out there & there is money to be made. But, I think any other books by Cheryl are not going to be publicized so much and Cheese has not improved her career by doing this movie, thank you to the Academy!

      Costco is good to it's employees. They pay a really good wage & even provide their part-time workers with benefits. If you would like to work there, by all means, apply. I've thought about it, too. The employees at my 2 local Costco locations have been there for years and they are always pleasant & seem happy. That says a lot!

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  6. I don't blame you for not wanting to go on. I guess the movie hasn't shown up on Youtube yet? :P I would watch the damn mess again, just to laugh at it, and to be in solidarity with you, so let me know if you find a good source and I'll add my observations. Wish we could all watch it together, I'd bring the wine. Or tequila. Have you tried Tanqueray No. 10 gin? It's quite lovely. :)

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  7. Asking only waitress wages, I came looking for a fuck, but I got no offers... Just a come-on from some bowmen on the PCH... I do declare... there were times when I was so horny I used up condoms there... Lie-la-lie...

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    ReplyDelete