Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Bonus Segment, Part Four: Vanity Fair is no Nancy Drew

It's been brought to my attention (and seriously, goddamn you people for letting me know about this shit) that OMG, they found the reporter from the Hobo Times who interviewed Cheryl NOTHING.  Vanity Fair published an article entitled, "Solving a Lingering Mystery From Cheryl Strayed's Wild," and isn't that adorable.  The problem with this misleading title is that THEY SOLVED NOTHING.

What a load of horseshit.  This proves absolutely nothing and SHAME ON VANITY FAIR FOR PUBLISHING THIS LOAD OF NONSENSE.  I have copied and pasted the entire Vanity Fair article  (go ahead an click that link if you think I'm being less than honest or leaving things out) and have highlighted and numbered the things with which I take issue.  Here it is.  Go ahead, read it.


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It started out simple, as these things often do. A short scene in Wild, in which Cheryl Strayed (Reese Witherspoon) encounters a reporter who says he is from something called the Hobo Times, had grabbed my interest. Did the article ever appear in the publication? What is the Hobo Times even? Is there a playful, alternate version of Strayed’s tale potentially hidden in the weathered pages of an old magazine?

I first came to Strayed’s story in her memoir Wild, published in 2012. Having lost my father to cancer when I was 23, the story of Strayed’s hike along the Pacific Crest Trail, in the wake of her own mother’s death, moved me. Many of the toughest parts of Strayed’s book are part of Wild on-screen, but I was tickled to see that the unexpected, sweet exchange with the Hobo Times reporter made the cut in the film as well. I had to know if this colorful character was even aware that he'd made it to the page and screen, and I wanted to re-unite him with the woman he met on that California highway 20 years ago.

In both the film and the book, the reporter wrote down Strayed’s first and last name, snapped a photo of her (1), gave her a hobo care package containing beer, an individually packaged cigarette, canned beans, and various other items, and told her to “look for his piece . . . in the fall issue of the Hobo Times (2).” In the book, Strayed called the man Jimmy Carter; in reality, she told me, he said his name was Jerry Brown—she maintained the spirit of the original California politician by swapping it with that of a nationally known one. She looked for him, along with the issue of the Hobo Times in which she might have appeared, while writing Wild, but had no luck at the time. “I sort of assumed that he never wrote the piece,” said Strayed. “Because I kept having to say, ‘I’m not really a hobo,’ I think he believed me that I was hiking the P.C.T. (3)"

A copy of the Hobo Times is not exactly easy to find. The magazine—known as “America’s Journal of Wanderlust”—was published about six times a year from 1987 through early 2000, as a supplement with a membership to the National Hobo Association. It has almost no online presence, save a few personal blogs from affiliated N.H.A. members. With the help of several libraries, eBay, and the Hobo Museum, I found nearly every edition from 1995 and 1996—none of them mentioning Strayed or Jerry Brown (4).

Many of the Hobo Times writers penned articles under pseudonyms (some examples: ‘No Bail’ John, Guitar Whitey, Fatcar Frank, Connecticut Shorty)—better known as “road names,” “road flags,” or “road monikers”—which meant Jerry Brown could’ve been the reporter’s real name, road name, or a spur-of-the-moment improvisation. Lucky for me, the founder of the N.H.A. and director of the Hobo Times used his real name, and Bobb Hopkins turned out to be the easiest person to locate in the process—he’s a film actor, writer, director, and producer credited on IMDB and has a production company called Super Chief Films.

When I spoke with Hopkins (road name “Santa Fe Bo”), I only knew the name that Strayed gave the writer in Wild, and Hopkins didn’t recall any Hobo Times writers called Jimmy Carter, or a story about a woman who fit Strayed’s description. (In the end, he found no record of a Jerry Brown, either.) (5) “I would remember a story like that—especially from a female out on a journey like that,” Hopkins said. “As founder of N.H.A., I was hands-on with every issue and don't recall that type of article.” When Hopkins located a copy of the elusive Fall 1995 edition, in which Strayed most likely would have appeared, he confirmed it: “No mention of ‘Jimmy Carter’ or a solo female hiker,” he e-mailed me. (6)

What Hopkins did remember was a car like the one described in Wild—a silver Chrysler LeBaron packed to the windows with newspapers, books, and clothes—that belonged to his brother-in-law, Bob “Itchy Foot” Stetson. “He owned a LeBaron—it wasn’t silver, it was like a cream color,” Hopkins explained. “And I remember when my niece first read the book she called and said, ‘Oh my God, Uncle Bobb, there’s a piece in here about the Hobo Times and that may be my dad.’ . . . He was a real character. He lived in California . . . he did travel around and he did pick up a lot of hitchhikers." (7)

Stetson passed away in 2010 at the age of 65 (8), but Hopkins’s aforementioned niece, Jennifer Fellows, was happy to fill in the blanks. An infant-well-being consultant and mother of three who will soon be relocating to her native California (she grew up in Woodland Hills), Fellows is certain that Strayed’s “Jimmy Carter” was her father. “I know it was my dad. It’s not even a question to me,” she said. (9) Back in 2012—when Strayed’s memoir was first released—her sister’s friend reached out, saying, “You’re never gonna believe this, there’s this book called Wild and your dad is in it!” Fellows and her siblings thought the description was spot on—she even posted an excerpt to Facebook at the time, which garnered a strong reaction from friends and family.

“He never used his real name, so when I read [in Wild] that it said ‘Jimmy Carter,’ I was totally laughing —he had so many nicknames!” Fellows said. “I know that there’s only so many writers for Hobo Times, and of all of them he’s the only one that drove a light-colored Chrysler LeBaron.”

Plenty of other things matched up—the description of his unkempt hair, the newspapers in the backseat, even the items in his “hobo care package.” While reading aloud Strayed’s list of its contents, Fellows interrupted me at, “six butterscotch candies in translucent gold wrappers,” exclaiming, “That’s my dad! That’s him! I choked on one when I was little—he always had those!” (10)

Stetson also worked in real estate and often traveled throughout California, so his meeting with Strayed more than 500 miles north of his home would check out. Fellows suspects her father likely saw much of his daughter in the young hiker—and would’ve reacted in similarly protective fashion to Strayed’s description of Jimmy Carter (11). “When I first heard about it, I was excited for her that she got to meet him,” said Fellows. “Obviously vice versa, because she’s pretty amazing—but when I was first thinking, Oh, that was totally him! I was like, ‘Oh my gosh, I’m so glad it was him and not some other creepy guy that could’ve been out there.’”

I sent Strayed a picture of Stetson given to me by Fellows, who described her father as looking like Jack Nicholson. “The Jack Nicholson comparison really strikes a chord with me,” Strayed responded. “The floppy brown hair. And this picture you sent looks very familiar. I think it’s him! The smile is what I remember the most in looking at this shot.” (12)

Even more important, though, Strayed says, is how the people who knew Stetson reacted to the book. “I also think it’s very compelling that various people who knew Bob Stetson thought it was him when they read the book,” she explained. (13) “I’ve had that experience with other people in the book, too—Doug Wisor (who died seven years after we hiked), for example. Many of his old friends from high school and college have written to me to say that they felt I portrayed him so much the way they remembered him and many of them recognized him even before they realized I was actually writing about “their Doug." Maybe the people who knew Bob are right and it was him since they think it was (i.e., it seemed like him to them).” (14)

When I told Fellows of my possible discovery, she was effusive. “I cried on my way to work this morning," she wrote. "My parents were so amazing. I miss them every day. My dad deserves to be talked about . . . he was so unique.” (15)  Strayed's trek, taken in the wake of her mother’s death, had re-united a daughter with her father, years after his passing.

And how would Stetson have felt about his portrayal in Wild? “My dad would’ve loved the book,” (16) said Fellows. “He was such an adventurer and outdoorsman, and even far before he got cancer, he just really lived life to the fullest and he didn’t wait until he got sick to start living like that—he always lived like that.”


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1.  ...except there is no record of this and no photo.
 
2.  ...except oh, hey, there was never a piece about her in the fall issue.
 
3.  "I think he believed me that I was hiking the PCT." = something liars say.
 
4.  Well, hey, would you look at that.  No mention of Cheryl Strayed written in an article by Jerry Brown or Jimmy Carter or Ronald Reagan or Charles Manson or Elvis.  That's so weird!  No mention of Cheryl!
 
5.  No record of Cheryl and no record of anyone named Jerry Brown.  NO RECORD. Cheryl says that the man's name was Jerry Brown.  No record of him, though.  Huh.
 
6.  Hey, look at that!  Again!  No record of Cheryl or her mysterious interviewer!
 
7.  Holy shit, this lady's dad had the same car and lived in California, that's all the proof we need!
 
8.  Damn the bad luck, the guy who supposedly interviewed Cheryl died and can't confirm dick.
 
9.  Oh, well, that's enough for me!  She *just knows it,* huh?  BLAM.  FACTS JUST HAPPENED.
 
10.  That seals it up, must have been him.  I don't even know what butterscotch candies are!  Who's heard of those?!  Not me, that's for sure!  He must have been the only person in California to have butterscotch candies!  I mean, his daughter almost choked to death on one!  What more proof do you need???  (My friend, April, said something delightful about this: "So, her dad made it a point to always have on hand the candy his daughter once choked on? Nice.")
 
11.  Let's just make shit up now because he's dead and can't confirm anything!
 
12.  Holy shit, CHERYL JUST CONFIRMED EVERYTHING.  OBVIOUSLY TRUE.
 
13.  Who are these "various people," exactly?
 
14.  Well, fuck, people *think* it was him, must have been him.  FACTS HAPPEN AGAIN.
 
15.  "My dad is dead and I liked him and junk, so here's the perfect opportunity to make him famous for something he didn't do because he was good enough and smart enough and doggone it, people liked him."
 
16.  SHUT THE FUCK UP.
 
 
(Let's not forget that the article's author, Katie Calautti, went through her very own dead-parent drama and clearly just loves Cheryl and her stupid book.)
 
 
Okay, everybody.  Your turn.  Do your worst.

43 comments:

  1. Alright, so yet again I feel compelled to point out that Strayed knowing "things' that happened on or around the PCT in NO WAY proves any part of her story other than she was in the vicinity of the trail during that time.

    How about an example by way of a story?

    Let's say I go fly my ass out to Nepal and pay some friendly local to take me to a bar/restaurant/hostel close to where expeditions leave to start the summit to Mt Everest. While there I tell people my intention is to climb the mountain...mmm...sometime. I listen to their stories, yarns, tales, and accounts. Someone might, for example, tell me a story about a reporter for the Climbin' Times who goes by the name Ronnie Reagan. This reporter has shoulder length ginger hair, an eye patch, and travels with a service monkey named "Jim-Bob."

    I get home, read a couple books and Wikipedia articles about climbing Everest, and then construct my tale. "Creed: Kickin' Ass and Taking Names on Mt. Everest." In my "memoir" I drop of a couple of names here in there for flavor. Then people start calling my tale into question. Things just dont seem to add up. "He never talks about being cold. Why is that? Seems odd to me." Or "everyone had to register, and we cant find his name anywhere on anyone's register." Hmm...

    Then some random camp wanderer/brownie-baker comes forward and is all "Oh yeah man, I was THERE! I most cert remember Ronnie Reagan, the dude with the eye patch and that funny monkey. He's totes for real, dude. Mercer's def 4x4! I validate that dude's claims!"

    Well what the fuck did that prove? It proves I talked to some people around the area in question and collected their stories. I think Strayed did the same thing with the ridiculous Llama story and probably a few others. I believe she hiked part of the trail, the section in which she met Greg, then made some half-hearted attempts here and there but pretty much gave up after she realized she could hitch-hike most of the thing.

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    1. Perfect, Mercer! That is absolutely how this book & movie came about. "Greg" (Roger) is real, the PCT is real, the Hobo Times & various HT writers are real. I also completely maintain that Cheryl-Cheese was walking on parts of the trail (a few of the parts she could get to & off of by motor vehicle). I believe she may have tried heroin and that she had sex with pretty much everybody who showed the slightest bit of interest (yawn) & that her mother died. I even believe she tortured that poor horse. But the biggest part of her whole story, her amazing thru-hike of the PCT or 1000 miles of it, is pure fabrication which has morphed into delusion.

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    2. In addition, nothing changed or redeemed her. She is the same narcissistic lying fake she started out as. In fact, she is even worse, now.

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    3. Agreed Cindi. I've been saying since I finished the book that she didn't change at all. She didn't "find herself". She didn't find redemption. In fact. all that she says is that she forgave herself for her past wrongdoings. She never even discusses seeking forgiveness from the people she actually wronged.

      Besides, narcissists don't forgive themselves. They never truly believe they were in the wrong in the first place. She knew she'd have to feign contrition for the purposes of her phony tale and to get all the self-empowerment sheep (the irony) on her side.

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    4. I laughed and laughed and laughed at this comment. I would TOTALLY read "Creed: Kickin' Ass and Taking Names on Mt. Everest" for the title alone, even if it turned out to be chapters and chapters and chapters of some dude stomping around in low elevations of snow, pointing at animals and shouting their names, maybe occasionally pausing to chuck a condom at a fabricated compassionate sherpa. No fact-checking necessary! That's the point Sexual Cheryl ironically missed: If you're going to screw your readers with lies, at least show us a good time while you're doing it.

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    5. I laughed and laughed and laughed at this comment. I would TOTALLY read "Creed: Kickin' Ass and Taking Names on Mt. Everest" for the title alone, even if it turned out to be chapters and chapters and chapters of some dude stomping around in low elevations of snow, pointing at animals and shouting their names, maybe occasionally pausing to chuck a condom at a fabricated compassionate sherpa. No fact-checking necessary! That's the point Sexual Cheryl ironically missed: If you're going to screw your readers with lies, at least show us a good time while you're doing it.

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  2. ROFLMAO, a friend just sent this to me:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6tp5LVNTr0&feature=youtu.be

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    1. Pinkpearl I about peed my pants laughing so hard at that line!

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  3. Did it even occur to VF that maybe this woman thinks it was her dad because she WANTS it to be her dad? Plenty of people read into shit when they're missing someone. Hell, Cheryl thought a fucking fox was her mother (how stupid can a person be?).

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  4. Also, my daughter almost choked on a butterscotch candy once. You know what this means, don't you?

    [whips off mask like the Scooby Doo gang]

    Say hello to the real Jerry Brown, bitches!

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  5. In the words of John Malcovich, "boop to that!"

    I mean, c'mon. Wtf kind of reporting is this and how goddam' convenient is it that, after almost twenty years, and -more recently- people pointing out this gaping fucking hole in her story, another "witness" comes forward that proves nothing. Less than nothing, actually. And, the simple, most basic problem is that it's really too late for proof. She wrote an autobiography of a PCT thru hike attempt...but, unlike hundreds of others, she took a heavy, expensive camera, but took no pictures. There's no chapter of glossy pages with beautiful scenic vistas, bulls, snakes, or fucking Cheryl looking haggard and dirty. Where's the picture of her gnarly feet or that glorious Snapple perched like a fucking vile of holy water? Where's the picture of gear spread out on a bed or a picnic table?

    But, I had another thought this weekend? Cheryl could not have taken Monster on the Greyhound between Lone Pine and Reno. Until 2006, the limit for weight of baggage with an adult ticket purchase under 500 miles was 50 lbs. It's now 100lbs. In 1995, as now, her camp stove fuel would've been prohibited. Now, it's very possible she dumped it and took the loss, but she claimed she had no money. Losing fuel is a big deal for hikers because it means cold food and she doesn't mention buying more fuel in her very careful documentation of prices. Since she had the wrong fuel at the beginning, that means her carefully pre-trip-packed resupply boxes would've been packed with the wrong fuel for the whole trip. But, she never mentions any further problems or issues with fuel. Does that make sense? No! I was hiking with an adult relative on 9/11/2001. We strolled into town on 9/12 to pick up a resupply for a long distance AT section hike and were tucked becayse, if you recall, the United States came to a screeching halt and not even the USPS had planes in the air. Further, our trip ended because our fuel was no longer shippable. So, what did Cheryl do? It's possible the person who mailed her parcels was alerted by Cheryl so they could replace the fuel with the right type, but that doesn't get a mention?

    Monster, as described, wouldn't have been within the limits of dimensions for baggage. Sure! She might've paid extra...but she was supposedly so broke she couldn't eat. I think she had a credit card and she bought her ticket and it's not mentioned because she simply paid the overage by card and forgot about it. But, that means she lied about her ability to buy food or pay for lodging. That's the problem: either way, she's a liar.

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    1. Excellent points, Victoria! When considering the detail she goes into about how everyone is so attracted to her and everything they give to her because her beauty is so stunning and all the many compliments the men/boys/everyone she supposedly meets give to her and even the details of her damn shoe falling off a cliff, what she doesn't say or reveal adds to the falseness of this "memoir".

      Btw, on 9/11/01 I had just started heading home from my very first 4-day backpack trip on Isle Royale. In Cheryl-speak, that would be a 4 month backpack trip...but no, it was 4 days. Good to know that you were hiking at the same time on the other side of the country :)

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    2. My thoughts exactly: Where are the pictures and pictures and pictures? Why isn't there a photo album of the PCT on her Facebook page??? We know why.

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    3. Excellent detective work! I love people who can actually fact-check these details. If Cheryl replaced her fuel in the beginning, and fuel was being shipped in her packages, then it was all wrong and she'd have had to replace it at every stop. Never mentioned again, was it? She's such a liar.

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  6. Holy crap, I never thought about her fuel issue! Nice call, Tori!

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    1. Goddamn, I hadn't thought about that, either. This is why Tori is my hero.

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  7. Now I'm waiting for more on the movie.... :) please?

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    1. I'll post more this week, I promise. :)

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  8. Cheryl Strayed: the only person on Earth who could attend the Oscars and only post photos of herself on social media

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    1. Shocked. I'm SHOCKED, I tell you.

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    2. I looked, and she did eventually post a photo with two other people, but only because she wanted to point out the fact that she had been invited to the Vanity Fair after-party. I think she's a large woman because she is literally full of herself.

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  9. I saw the photos of herself on her FB page in her prom dress. I haven't watched the entire Oscars, but I have it on DVR from about 10:30 on...please tell me that Cheryl doesn't make an appearance....

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    1. I watched the whole thing and didnt see her once. She might have popped up on one or more of the red carpet coverage shows though. We watched E! and didnt see her.

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    2. I think you're safe, Cindi. I watched as much as I could before falling asleep and I never saw her.

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  10. We watched the red carpet coverage on the same network as the Oscars & I didn't see her, either. I kinda kept scanning the people in the background, Nor, was she anywhere near Oprah or Cheese Witherspoon :) We're on EST & got sleepy. Our darling Erin must be working for a living, again!

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    1. If only this could be my job and all of you could be my bosses...

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  11. Hahaha, yes, I've been working. Sorry. If I got paid to write this blog, you'd have new nonsense to read every single day. Sigh. Also, for some reason, reviewing the movie is infinitely more painful than reviewing the book. I dread finishing (but I promise I will follow through). Maybe after I'm finished making dinner today, I'll attempt Part Three of the movie review. Maybe.

    Ah, the Oscars. I don't think Cheryl got even one second of air-time. A friend texted yesterday to let me know that Cheese, errrr, *Reese* was on ABC on the red carpet and she was gushing about how she owed so much to Cheryl and blaaaaaargh, but I missed it (I foolishly had DVR-ed the E! red carpet show instead). I wonder if Reese went out of her way to ensure that Cheryl would be nowhere near her at the Oscars after the crap she pulled at the Golden Globes... you guys know what I'm talking about, right?

    Anyway, SO SAD THAT "WILD" DIDN'T WIN ANYTHING. Please, someone comfort me.

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    1. I think that Reese thought this movie was her ticket to another Oscar. That's why she got involved so early with Cheryl and used her clout to make sure the movie got made. She may even have realized somewhere along the line that Cheryl (and her story) was full of shit. By that time she was all-in and had to follow it through to the end. She just went on pretending the emperor was wearing clothes.

      I wouldn't be surprised if that "friendship" between Reese and Cheryl faded rather quickly.

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    2. I think you might be right, Facilman. Out of morbid curiosity, I looked at Reese's FB page yesterday and she only mentions Cheryl a handful of times-- and has posted nothing about her recently. I've even forced myself to watch interviews and Reese always has this slightly upset/constipated expression. I think she knows Cheryl is full of shit.

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    3. I find it interesting there's only one photo of the Cheese twins together at the Oscars and they arent looking as buddy-buddy as they were at the Golden Globes. Reese even has an "Im not smiling with my eyes" look on her face. I think she's caught a whiff or two of Strayed's crazy and thought a little distance might be healthy.

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    4. Speaking of weird smiles, has anyone else noticed how fucking strange Cheryl's smiles are? I did a google images search of her because I don't know, I'm a glutton for punishment or something, and she never does a full smile. All her smiles are these weird half-smiles or almost-smiles. She never commits and goes all the way (oooooohhhhh, I'm sensing a theme!!!). It fucking annoys me. JUST SMILE. IT'S NOT EVEN HARD.

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    5. Maybe she has TMJ or something, but I doubt it. I think it's just part of her martyrdom, suffering shtick. "Woe is me! My life is so hard that I can't even smile all the way! Nobody has ever experienced loss in their life ever! I most go on a (fake) epic (not epic) wandering trek through the wildness to deal with this horrible suffering that no one has ever had to go through but me!"

      And on that, note...fuck you, Cheryl Strayed. I've been through some shit in my life, and I didn't have to (pretend to) hike the PCT to get through it. I fucking pulled myself up and carried on with my life. That's what normal people do. Why are there so many people who think her story is inspiring? She didn't face her issues, she fucking ran away from them.

      Ugh! Where's the asploding head gif when you need it??

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    6. GOOD CHERYL, YESSSSSS! I've wanted so badly to post a photo of her with the caption, "Cheryl doesn't understand how smiling works." She looks insane.

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    7. "I wonder if Reese went out of her way to ensure that Cheryl would be nowhere near her at the Oscars after the crap she pulled at the Golden Globes... you guys know what I'm talking about, right?"

      What happened? I don't know...

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    8. Bubba, I've tried repeatedly to upload a video of the Golden Globes and for whatever reason, this site is having none of it. Since that's the unfortunate case, let me explain.

      It was Reese's big moment: the nominations for Best Actress. Of course, the camera was on Reese as her name was being read and CHERYL STUCK HER BIG FAT HEAD INTO THE CAMERA, HALFWAY IN FRONT OF REESE'S FACE.

      I'm not kidding. A friend texted me right after that and said, "Did that just happen?"

      This woman. I swear. She cannot control herself. Everything is about her 100% of the time.

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  12. For a lark, I checked out Reese Witherspoon's page...couldnt find a single picture of her and Strayed together after scrolling down for a short time. Finally found one from back on Jan 15th at the Golden Globes. Reese did have a handful of shots from the Oscars, just none of Strayed.

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    1. Lol, and now she finally put up Strayed's photo of the two of them.

      I swear to God I think Strayed trolls this site then scrambles to add/delete things online in response to what we're talking about. She must have sent the photo to Reese because Reese sure as hell didnt have one of Strayed. Fucking bizarre.

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  13. Here's an article about a young man who did a cross-country trip on wild mustangs. He has a book out and there will be a documentary, with real footage. Thought you guys might like a truthful journey for a change. http://www.theeagle.com/news/local/aggie-s-tales-from-the-trail-inspire-book-documentary/article_e7f0b94c-1fcf-5455-b1e0-e3056426ac1b.html

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  14. Somebody pass me an emesis basin, please.

    //“Reese has given me a lot of tips,” the author said of Golden Globe-worthy poses. But according to Strayed, she too has given Witherspoon her fair share of advice – at least when it came to hiking. Strayed revealed that the reason Witherspoon’s portrayal of a hiker looked so convincing was because she was the one who taught the actress how to backpack like a pro.// - http://www.ibtimes.com/golden-globes-2015-reese-witherspoon-brings-wild-author-cheryl-strayed-red-carpet-1780052

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  15. Put me out of my misery, please, please, please! - //She divorced Mark and took the new surname of “Strayed” to punish herself for her sins, then filled up a backpack (mostly with things she didn’t need) and, with no previous hiking experience, became one of the few people who complete the entire length of the Pacific Crest Trail each year.// - http://www.sundaypost.com/tv-showbiz/film/wild-life-led-reese-witherspoon-and-cheryl-strayed-to-golden-globes-red-carpet-1.778631

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