Friday, December 26, 2014

Part Twenty-Two of a review of "Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail," Chapter Eleven, Part One: Cheryl Has a Problem With Hobos

A review of Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail, by Cheryl Strayed

Part Twenty-Two: Chapter Eleven, Part One: Cheryl Has a Problem With Hobos


We're now in Part Four of this awful book, and Part Four is called "Wild" because Cheryl apparently ran out of super-smart book titles to steal.  Chapter Eleven is Called "The Lou Out of Lou," and we'll get to that nonsense soon enough, but probably not until Part Twenty-Three because all the preceding bullshit is going to take some time.

Let's get started.

Chapter Eleven starts out with,

"I was standing by the side of the highway just outside the town of Chester, trying to hitch a ride..."

because of course it does, seeing as Cheryl is hitchhiking the entire PCT.  But hey, "hitchhiking" does have the word "hiking" in it, so I guess this is supposed to count.  In the very next sentence, Cheryl says something that we all know is complete bullshit at this point:

"Over the past fifty-some hours, I'd hiked fifty miles with Stacy and Trina and the dog..."
UM, NO YOU DIDN'T.
 
Once again, the math just doesn't add up. First of all, how many hours exactly is "fifty-some?"  Here's Cheryl yet again being very vague about the details because liars are clever like that, so we'll just have to do our best to make some estimates on her behalf.  Let's say "fifty-some" is fifty-five, just to take the average and be fair.  Fifty-five hours equals two days and seven hours.  The longest distance Cheryl claims to have covered in one day at this point was fifteen miles.  Let's be generous and give Cheryl three whole days to cover fifty miles.  At fifteen miles a day, that's still only 45 miles, not fifty, and let's face it, she was not hiking fifteen miles a day to begin with.  She sucks so badly at lying about the details, and I can't even be surprised anymore that so many people just blindly believe all of her bullshit because "omg, she's so brave and such an inspiration and when I have to go all the way across the street to go to the store, I drive there because walking is hard!
 
'MERICA! 
 
Anyway, sure, whatever, Cheryl just walked fifty miles and no she didn't, but now she's at a place called Stover Camp.  Cheryl, Stacy, Trina and the dog, Odin, are all trying to hitch a ride, and when a couple in a Honda Civic finally stop with room for only two passengers, the three of them play the YOU-hang-up-first! game:
 
"'You go,' we'd each said to the other; 'no, you go'-- until I insisted and Stacy and Trina got in, Odin lumbering behind them to sit wherever he could, while I assured them I'd be fine."

They somehow manage to not have a full blown tickle fight right there on the side of the road and the two ladies and the dog finally leave Cheryl in the dust, which I don't believe because Cheryl is a selfish cunt who is seemingly incapable of doing a single selfless thing, but then again, she always finds a way to not spend much time with actual hikers because these hikers don't exist and she can't have anyone coming forward to expose her lies.  So let's just go with this version of the story because things are about to get stupid, and after that, things will get Full-Cheryl-Double-O-Stoopid.

A man in a Chrysler LeBaron stops at the side of the road and I wonder 1) how she remembers the makes and models of these cars and 2) why it should matter, unless she's trying to make up for her almost complete lack of description of the trail and is attempting to make things sound more official, like, hey, she totally knew what kinds of cars she was hitchhiking in.  Anyway, Mr. Chrysler LeBaron "looked like a nice enough guy," and he had a bumper sticker on his car that said, 'IMAGINE WHIRLED PEAS," so of course, Cheryl says to herself,

"Has there ever been a serial killer who imagined whirled peas?"
Let's hope this is the one. 

She mentions once again her possession of "the world's loudest whistle" and how she was holding onto it, just in case.  You know what, you stupid asshole?  The world's loudest anything isn't going to stop a man from raping or murdering you when you're out in the middle of nowhere.

A man named Jimmy Carter-- "no relation"-- introduces himself and tells Cheryl that he doesn't have room in his car to give her a ride, but explains that he stopped because he is a reporter from something called "The Hobo Times" and wants to interview her.  Before we get to this bullshit, let's stop for some more fact-checking.

The Hobo Times has no record of Cheryl Strayed.  I checked.  And after having found nothing from The Hobo Times, the only thing I could find when I googled "Cheryl Strayed Hobo Times" was this stinking pile of shit from an online "interview" where Cheryl answered a multitude of questions from her clueless fans (and I'm just quoting here-- don't blame me for the lack of grammatical know-how coming from her fan):

Clueless Fan:  "Cheryl: that guy — whose hair whipped to and fro on his face determined that you were a “hobo” to be written on — did he ever publish any of that? Did you search for it after your trek?"
Cheryl Strayed:  " I searched for the reporter from the Hobo Times, but didn’t find him. I plan to search again soon. I don’t know if he ever wrote that article about me. Not that I was a hobo."

THAT IS JUST SO SHOCKING THAT THERE IS NO RECORD OF WHAT SHE'S ABOUT TO CLAIM, I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE IT.

Yeah.  Let's get back to her baseless, unprovable story.

Mr. Jimmy Carter assumes that Cheryl is a hobo and unless this is his first time driving along a road near the PCT, he should know better.  I don't believe a single word of any of the following, but since it's in the book, I'm going to cover it.  Just know ahead of time that this is all absolute crap.

Upon hearing Jimmy's reason for stopping to talk to her, Cheryl says,

"'I'm not a hobo.  I'm a long-distance hiker.  I'm hiking the Pacific Crest Trail."
OH, REALLY?  THEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING HITCHHIKING RIGHT NOW, YOU LYING SACK OF CRAP.
 
Cheryl, upon the sudden realization that Jimmy isn't going to give her a ride, decides to act like a pissy bitch for the rest of their exchange, and even mentions how Jimmy's presence was preventing her from hitching a ride.  Oh, boo-hoo.
 
Jimmy asks her how long she's been out on the road and Cheryl takes a moment to be a judgmental bitch before answering, saying that Jimmy struck her as,
 
"someone who had a PhD in something airy and indescribable.  The history of consciousness, perhaps, or comparative studies in discourse and society."
WHATEVER, MISS "I-FAILED-COLLEGE-OVER-A-FIVE-PAGE-PAPER." 
 
 
but she finally answers his question:
 
"'I told you, I'm not on the road,' I said, and laughed.  'I'm hiking the Pacific Crest Trail,' I repeated, gesturing by way of elaboration to the woods that edged up near the road, though in fact the PCT was about nine miles west of where we stood."
I-- you-- LEARN HOW TO LIE, YOU FUCKING IDIOT. 
 
Cheryl claims that "he stared at me blankly, uncomprehending," probably because she's clearly not hiking anything at this point right there on the side of the road.  Since Jimmy doesn't seem to comprehend the words that are coming out her mouth, she explains further, "It's a National Scenic Trail," but he still doesn't get it and apparently just stands there with his mouth hanging open or something, and it's at this point when Cheryl says this:
 
"I saw that Jimmy Carter wasn't bad-looking.  I wondered if he had any food in his car."
Wha--baaa---gaaahhh---errrrrrrr, what?
 
 
Jimmy decides that Cheryl is a hobo and Cheryl is super pissed about this, but instead of quoting their long, dreadful exchange, allow me to spare you and just paraphrase:
 
Cheryl:  I'M NOT A HOBO.
Jimmy: Yes-huh.
Cheryl: I AM NOT!
Jimmy: Yeah, okay, but... you are. 
Cheryl:  Quit calling me a hobo!  I'm a super-smart, totally experienced hiker!  Quit it!
Jimmy:  HOBO. 

This type of nonsense goes on for well over a page and while paraphrasing is amusing, let's put an end to my fun so I can go back to quoting the book itself because you're not going to believe what comes out of Cheryl's mouth:

"'I'm not a hiker in the way you might think of a hiker,' I explained.  'I'm more like an expert hiker.'"
YEAH.  THAT HAPPENED. NOT MAKING THAT UP.
 
 

She continues,
 
"I hike fifteen to twenty miles a day, day after day, up and down mountains, far away from roads or people or anything, often going days without seeing another person."

AND OH MY FUCKING GOD, NO YOU FUCKING DON'T.  EVERYTHING YOU JUST SAID IS COMPLETE BULLSHIT AND I WANT TO THROTTLE YOU.

Jimmy doesn't seem to be paying attention to all of Cheryl's lies because he scribbles in his notebook and,

"'I hardly ever meet hobo women,' he half whispered, as if confiding a secret, 'so this is fucking cool.'"

Cheryl flips her shit.

"'I'm not a hobo!' I insisted more vehemently this time."

Jimmy says that "hobo women are hard to find," and Cheryl enlightens him:

"I told him that this was because women were too oppressed to be hobos.  That most likely all the women who wanted to be hobos were holed up in some house with a gaggle of children to raise.  Children who'd been fathered by hobo men who'd hit the road."
What the fuck was all that.  I don't even.
 
And then this doesn't happen, except Cheryl says it does:
 
"'Oh, I see,' he said.  'You're a feminist, then.'
"'Yes,' I said.  It felt good to agree on something."

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDI----

YOU ARE NOT A FEMINSIT.
 
 
 
ERRRRRRRMAHGERRRRRRRD, IT'S TIMES LIKE THIS WHEN I WANT TO JUST STOP.  I JUST WANT TO THROW THIS BOOK INTO MY FIREPLACE, TAKE A HAMMER TO MY OWN SKULL AND FORGET THAT I EVER STARTED THIS.  SOMEONE KILL ME RIGHT NOW.
 
 
*whimper*
 
 
Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Jimmy wants to get a picture of Cheryl, compliments her spirit-walking Bob Marley t-shirt and also her POW bracelet, and points out that a lot of hobos are "Nam vets," and I'm seriously surprised that Cheryl didn't suddenly claim to have been in Nam because she clearly has a very slippery grasp on the truth.
 
Jimmy then mentions that articles from The Hobo Times have been excerpted in Harper's and Cheryl just about shits herself.  I can't even go on with this stupid conversation anymore, but know that Cheryl acts like a total bitch, which should not be surprising at this point.
 
Before leaving, Jimmy gives her a "standard-issue hobo care package," which Cheryl immediately takes even though she's spent the last fifteen minutes rudely telling this man that she is not a hobo.  He wishes her well, tells her to stay safe, and says that he hopes she has a gun on her because she's soon going to be "entering Bigfoot country," and oh my god, I can't do this anymore.  I feel like calling 911 right now and when the operator says, "What is your emergency?' I will scream, "I'VE BEEN WRITING A REVIEW OF CHERYL STRAYED'S AWFUL BOOK FOR A FULL MONTH NOW AND I STILL HAVE EIGHT CHAPTERS TO GO, PLEASE SEND SOMEONE TO KILL ME."
 
"'Good luck on your hike,' [Jimmy] said, getting back into his car."
"'Good luck... finding hobos,' I said, and waved as he drove away."

I will try not to kill myself tonight so that we can continue with the rest of Chapter Eleven tomorrow. 

53 comments:

  1. Yeah. She's now suddenly nine miles west of the actual PCT?

    Um. No.

    And, notice...everyone leaves her in groups just at the point where she claims it's too dangerous or too wet or too hard. No one to see if she yellow blazes to the next strategic trail log. If the two women exist, I actually think she DID insist they take the ride...so that she could do a stunning 30 mile day with no witnesses.

    I have a friend who calculated her alleged 1000mile+ "hike" by the number of days she was actually in California and even if you kept the zero days in the account, she did it too fast...as in record breaking, running too fast to be plausible.

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  2. Huh. I find it odd enough that there was a publication in the mid-90s called the Hobo Times (weren't we all calling hobos "the homeless" by that time?), but implausibly coincidental that one of its writers just so happened to bump into Cheryl, out of all the vagabonds and/or hikers in the area at the time.

    Please don't bash your skull in, I'm hooked on your reviews!

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    1. Whaaaaaaat? I *still* refer to homeless people as "hobos." In fact, every single time I see a homeless person, I point an accusing finger, yell, "HOBO!" and then shuffle away while dancing The Charleston. Doesn't everyone?

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    2. Bwahahahaha!!! And how! You rule.

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    3. I've met some traveler kids/ gutter punks who referred to themselves as hobos. Train hopping went through a small resurgence in the nineties.

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  3. You might enjoy this recent article:
    http://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2015/02/cheryl-strayed-wild-hobo-times

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    1. Susanna, oh, I'm well aware of that article.

      http://cherylstrayedisaliar.blogspot.com/2015/02/bonus-segment-part-three-my-email-to.html

      http://cherylstrayedisaliar.blogspot.com/2015/02/bonus-segment-part-four-vanity-fair-is.html

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  4. I liked this Hobo Times reporter scene in the movie because the guy starts asking her personal questions as to why she's a hobo and its quite weird, creepy and for a moment reminiscent of Witherspoon's pedo-conversations with Kiefer Sutherland in the film Freeway. To the extent I thought Wild was bizarrely transforming into its sequel.

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  5. I’m so glad I read the book, because if I hadn’t, I would never have found this one-of-a-kind totally hysterical blog. I was given the book by a friend. Based on what I had heard (NY Times bestseller, rave reviews, Oprah endorsed, Hollywood movie, etc.) I expected that I would be PROFOUNDLY moved by Cheryl’s story of personal salvation. Instead, I found the writing to be PROFOUNDLY amateurish and difficult to respect. Also, Cheryl’s experiences in and of themselves seemed PROFOUNDLY uninspiring too. The death of her mother, her divorce, her walk in the woods and her conquest of self-realization (the last of which I had a hard time understanding) did not seem extraordinary to me. I’m not saying that her experiences were not important to her (although reading this blog has increased my doubts), but if I am to read an awe-inspiring memoir of great personal achievement, one that will change my life forever, this book certainly was not it. On the other hand, I feel quite the opposite about this blog. It is indeed a commitment of PROFOUND proportion – certainly more PROFOUND than Cheryl’s backpacking one summer along parts of the PCT! And the written product is far better too. It is funny and witty, and while sometimes quite harsh, a far more compelling read than the book itself. I agree with you, Califohioan, there is a lot of questionable material in Cheryl’s autobiographical accounts. But I am less troubled by the possible misrepresentations, than by the overwhelmingly enthusiastic reviews of this book as being literary greatness. I am PROFOUNDLY disappointed in the popular view of this book as well-written and one that will change the reader’s life. I just don’t get that. But perhaps that is just the nature of art. It affects different people differently. In the meantime, I have gone back to the beginning of this blog (as you suggested) and have laughed my way through almost all of 2014, and look forward to reading the balance, to date, enjoying funny GIFs along the way. This blog is awe-inspiring! (P.S. I read all the comments too, which are not to be missed.)

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  6. I stumbled across your blog today, after spending 5 bucks to rent Wild and getting sucked into the internet when it became apparent I wasn't going to be able to actually sit and watch the movie, hoping to find someone else who thought that both the book and movie were crap.

    Yes, it's true - I read the book and still watched the movie, having hated the written version. I was hopeful that it would somehow be better on film, that there was perhaps something I missed when I read the book that would become apparent on screen, but my hopes were definitely not realized.

    Thanks so much for blogging. I am really enjoying your commentary.

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  7. My circumstance was to see "Wild" at my public library's ebook and audiobook download area before any media buzz surrounded it (and really, I only found out that it later became an Oprah book selection by recently reading IMDB and this blog - so how out of it am I? I was at IMDB yesterday surveying the reviews before watching the film on DVD - which, again, is courtesy of my library.)

    Often my library will get ebooks/audiobooks onto Overdrive for download that are "pre-release," and if you're lucky, you can sometimes get to be number one on the "hold" list. This means that the day the book is released, either publicly or to libraries, you're ahead of most everyone else in reading or listening to it. So, when I saw it at Overdrive download, I had no idea what the book was about other than it was by a woman who hiked the PCT. How interesting, I thought, and got on the list as "number one."

    Hence, I managed to listen to the audio version early on, thought some of her story sounded a bit fishy (absolutely HATED the horse story), and by the time I finished with it, the web (or was it Amazon? I forget) already had a couple of people questioning the encounter with the "threatening" men who "might" have been up to no good in relation to her safety, as in rape or worse.

    I then forgot about the book, as it apparently was just then building up steam in our popular culture. It was only when it was Reese Whitherspooned that I began to see postings from friends on my FB page. I hadn't thought much about the book in awhile up to that point, so once the film was released to DVD, I got on the library's DVD reserve list where I think I was 149 on the list. I expected a long wait.

    Got the DVD yesterday, rather quickly I thought. Looks like a lot of those on the reserve list removed themselves; maybe they saw it via Pay Per View or something, or maybe their friends told them the movie sucked. Hmmmm. I went to IMDB to see what the talk was on the film (yes, I avoid current reviews until film comes out on DVD), recalling that small tidbit about how some had originally questioned the veracity of Cheryl's "memory." I was absolutely delighted to see the link to this blog, and the DVD still sits near my player waiting to be played later tonight while I click page after page of this hilarious blog by Califohioan. This is my second day of reading and I can't get enough!

    I've learned a shit load about not only Cheryl's fake hike, but also real facts about the PCT. And, wow. All I can say is THANK YOU! This blog and its commenters are rightfully discrediting her account, and if it saves one person (such as the lovely librarian yesterday who, as she was checking out the "Wild" DVD for me, said "Oh, I can't wait to do the PCT! I loved her book!") from heading willy-nilly into the PCT just like Cheryl did with her alleged "hike," then your work, Cali, will not have been in vain.

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    1. I'm sorry but that "lovely librarian" is beyond salvation ;D

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  8. Sounds to me like you're all jealous that you don't have the nerve, courage, and guts to hike the PCT like Cheryl did. Jealousy is always one of the reasons people attack other's accomplishments. Enjoy your misery, losers!

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    1. Hey, Kathy. According to your profile, you say, "I revere justice and humane treatment of all sentient beings. I support peace, protection of the environment, fairness for all."

      Well, thanks for calling all of us "losers," hypocrite. GFY.

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    2. Kathy, I think the point is that Cheryl herself didn't have the "nerve, courage, and guts" to do what she claims she did. FYI, being ON the trail isn't the same as HIKING the trail and she's made a bazillion dollars making people believe she did the latter rather than the former. Also FYI, nerve, courage and guts are the same things. Your double redundancy to emphasize your point helps me understand why you can't possibly understand the point of this blog. Have a nice day. Don't let the door hit you on your way out.

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    3. Kathy did you know a lot of people have been injured and a lot of resources has been squandered rescuing people who decided to hike the PCT (much in the same way Cheryl S didn't) with no experience, no supplies, and no clue how difficult it is. They think because CS did it that way and it made her a millionaire maybe it work for them too!

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  9. The Hobo Times reporter and other surreal crazies are commonly met on the road if you are hitchhiking in California. These are people are either consciously acting out a role to mess with your mind or else they actually believe the role themselves due to mental illness and/or drug induced delusion. Most are fun and harmless characters who just do not wait till Halloween to do their weird act. A few are serial killers it seems. I have no doubt this really happened, having hitch hiked in that region years ago and meeting even stranger people from the other side of the looking glass.

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    1. OMG, YOU should write a book! The way you describe it sounds similar to those cases when rangers or policemen catch young couples in the woods and give them a moral and look out for the dangers speach while staring at the kids (too) closely and getting high at their fear.

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  10. Very interesting, thanks for the information

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  11. Great book so far, I'm half way through.

    Any psychologist reading this could tell you have obvious issues with women that are unresolved.


    Take a hike and figure it out.

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    1. BAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA

      Obviously, you're no psychologist. You also aren't very observant. I AM A WOMAN, doofus. Please, tell me more about my issues.

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    2. Coasting might be onto something Califohioan. You have issues with women.

      Women who lie about the accomplishments.

      Women who believe every man on the planet aches for them.

      Women who by virtue of lying about hiking, are being disrepectful to people have have actually hiked the PCT and by extenstion the PCT itself.

      Women who do whatever their hedionistic desire dictate and insist if you have an problem with that you're just jealous of them.

      Women who feel free to take items out of hiking free boxes but mail any items they no longer need home rather than pay it forward by putting them in hiker boxes.

      Women who are terrible writers.

      Women who actively encourage deeply irresponsible behavior with a "well it was fine for me" shrug

      and of course women who screwed your man. ;P

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    3. Just because you are a woman doesn't mean you don't have issues with women...

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  12. Why are you spreading hate so easily? Do something else with your time, write a book, travel, go out with friends or maybe go for a hike? Spreading useless hate on one fucking book isn't going to get you anywhere, do something useful with your life.

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    1. Hmmmm, something useful... like leaving comments on a blog post written almost a year ago?

      Here's the thing, Pearl. This blog has been viewed a quarter of a million times now because people all over the world hate this stupid book and when they Google "I hate Cheryl Strayed," they find this blog and they suddenly don't feel so alone. To this day, I get emails regularly from people of all walks of life who think this blog is hysterical and want to thank me for writing it. Judging by these emails, I have brought much laughter to thousands of people, and I'd say that's pretty fucking useful. WTF do YOU do to bring joy to the world?

      Thanks for your awesome advice. I'm going to be walking across the country in a few months and yeah, I'm gonna write a book about it, and yeah, it isn't going to be a pretentious piece of shit like "Wild." HOPE YOU LIKE IT.

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    2. I found your blog late. Glad you are still responding. Great works of writing remain relevant long after their release... Or posting.

      As a male I don't feel I can comment on these things usually. I am afraid I would be labeled a chauvinist because this book stands for everything mainstream feminism believes in. Which is sad because I have met seriously tough women whose characters are ignored and overlooked in favor of this pandering crap. If I ever have a daughter I want her to run from this bullshit. I want her to have a real identity that doesn't revolve around men telling her how fucking great she is by their standards. Ooh, your pack is soooo heavy!

      At the root of it though, my hatred that is, is the fact I am a backpacker and this book pissed me off. (My gf has an unread copy I skimmed. I secretly want to burn it before she can get to it).I would love to do the PCT one day, but I fight fire in the summer so it isn't gonna happen for awhile. What botheres me is how she trivializes and co-opts the culture, a culture people sacrifice jobs to be part of. Fuckity fuck her.

      Thanks for making me feel less alone with this feeling.

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    3. Sadly I didn't I hate Cheryl strayed and I still got this ridiculous blog. I googled hobo times. I love the movie.
      So she wrote you didn't like. I hate this blog and j don't go around saying how stupid it is.
      Guess that's why America is great and people can say whatever rude and mean things they want to people.

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    4. Uh yeah. So funny how after months and months of inactivity, suddenly the Strayed fans are "accidentally" stumbling on this blog again.
      Now, tell me again how you, as a person belly-aching and whining about a blog, are better than the person who has exposed Cheryl Strayed numerous lies? Lies which sent scores of unprepared people into the wilderness to get injured and killed? Lay that out for me, will ya?

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    5. I find that deeply suspicious as well.

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  13. Hmmmmmm. Yes, your blog has been viewed a quarter million times, just like I viewed it.... ACCIDENTALLY.

    Viewed and actually reading it is two different things me lady...

    But coming across it, two words immediately came to mind. One was the word JEALOUSY. The other is LIFE, as in get one.

    You have spent all of this time critiquing another's life, while apparently, having absolutely no life of your own to critique.

    To waste your time making fun of another's life, that was certainly more interesting than yours, is truly a wasteful endeavor.

    Oh that's right, lest I forget, you have all these people writing you from all over the world, saying they no longer feel alone at hating this woman? ROFLMAO. Too funny, this blog and your attitude, is just way too funny.

    I think I can envision you? 4' 2, 400 pounds, house has clutter from head to toe, nasty crap all over your computer desk and a keyboard with rice crispie's stuck in between the keys for years, cigarette burning from your mouth as you fancy yourself a famous novelist, smiling yourself to sleep over such clever use of words no one will read but yourself.

    Well, that's not truly fair, yourself, and the 1/4 million people that accidentally came across your website while researching REAL articles on the movie.

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    1. Hmmm...let's break this down, James. When I read your comments, two words immediately come to mind. First was the word Jealously. The second word was LIFE, as in "get one."

      (I fixed your awful grammar in my satirical version)

      Let's see now...
      You have spent all of this time critiquing another's blog, while apparently, having absolutely no life of your own to critique." INDEED!

      To waste your time making fun of another's thoughts, that are certainly more interesting than yours, is truly a wasteful endeavor. NO!?!? YOU DONT FUCKING SAY????

      I think I can envision you: home alone on Valentine's Day, fervently chaffing your wonder-wand red to latina-abuse porn, when you somehow stumbled upon this blog while taking a break in between self-abuse sessions. Already hopped up on misogynistic fury, you take it upon yourself to "learn dis bitch sumthin" cuz a women with an opinion doesn't correlate to the world-view you've formed from countless hours of forum moderating in "abused-babysitter.com"

      I would tell you SO much about the phenomenal person who wrote this blog, but I have a sick feeling you'd turn it into some sort of sick fantasy. And that's what this is really all about, right James? Here you got a woman to respond to you and you DIDNT have to shell out $3.99 a min.

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  14. And by the way, you are obviously oblivious to how Google works, as well as "keywords" for that matter. So stop flaunting your cheesy blog as if it's all that, when in reality it isn't.

    Yes, people find your blog by googling "I hate Cheryl Strayed." But they don't ONLY find your blog by googling Cheryl Strayed.

    They also find your smelly cheese by googling Cheryl Strayed, as well as Wild, as well as Cheryl Wild. As well as I hate Wild. As well as I LOVE Cheryl Strayed. As well as I love Wild...

    Get my point Miss Sarcasm? Your quarter million hits were 99.999999% somebody googling the book or movie wild.

    Proof of the that is number of posts vs age of article... You AINT ALL THAT :)

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    1. James, I'm proud of you for taking a moment to stop masturbating to the movie "Wild" long enough to come on here and write incorrectly punctuated, grammatically fucked up nonsense all over the place; your hand probably needed a break. I'd love to respond to all of your idiocy, but I'm too busy preparing for an upcoming 5,000-mile hike across the country. Maybe you can meet me out on the trail, even though that would ruin your vision of me, as I am an extremely athletic Army veteran who could tear your dumb ass to shreds. No? Okay. Go back to trolling blogs. I'm sure everyone is just dying to see what you'll write next. Happy Valentine's Day!

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    1. The was James' 2nd best contribution. I deducted a point due to redundancy issues.

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  17. LMAO! So after reading everything I had to say, the only thing you could come up with was grammar and punctuation? Grasping for straws are we? Sure says a lot for the validity of my words. I accuse you of many things, and your response is I didn't put a comma in the right place ey? Genius you are.

    And speaking of immature, nonsensical statements. Youse gonna whoops my dumbass ey girl?
    Wonderfully educated I see you are to boot, made it all the way to ninth-grade did ya?

    By your OWN admission, when YOU GOOGLED Cheryl Strayed hobo times, you ACCIDENTALLY came across an interview with a online fan... which you called a "stinking pile of shit"' (I know how you felt...) displaying yet once again your mastery of the English language and way you have with the written word. Your craft is mind-boggling.

    Then go on to exhibit what an amazing sleuth you are and how your ability for detection are second to none at proving she's a liar, as you rip her version of events apart and state that you found no record whatsoever of this happening!!!

    This of course, on the heels of Cheryl already saying FIRST that she tried to locate this guy and the article but couldn't find anything on it... Man oh man, you showed HER huh? By proving everything she wrote WAS indeed the truth!

    I have to stop here, or I may wind up creating my own blog called "I hate the woman who hates Cheryl"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow, you're a tool. How many attempts did it take for you to finally come up with this masterpiece?

      Delete
    2. Looks like "James Morrison" is a pro-am whiner and complainer of all things internet. His G+ page is a desperate cry for help from his parent's basement.

      Oh James, please oh please start your own blog. Your grammatical stylings are as hilarious as your reading comprehension.

      Delete
  18. Oh, you put that together because I deleted two of the above? Wrong again. It's because I put it into separate posts and decided to combine it all into one.

    Once again displaying your hypothetical slueth powers by thinking it took me a long time to "come up with that", and ignoring the factual TIME STAMPS showing only a few minutes apart which means I came up with all that very fast. Seeing as how jealousy runs in your personality, must mean you're jealous of me to now...

    Goodbye for good now, unlike you, I have better things to do than hang around here, assuming you don't reply with that smart ass mouth of yours, and assuming that you're being nicer to people who
    post on your blog, and stop being who you seem so proud of being. Not a very nice person!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sweet Christ! I hope the "better things to do" involves a date with a "Grammar for Dummies" book. BOOK! Look at me thinking you're literate. Maybe the nice people who pay your bills for you will help you find an ESL course.

      Delete
  19. Mercer, a fellow grammar police member huh? Love your pic, was that before or after you masturbated to a picture of Cheryl?

    You two idiots remind me of just how sad the world truly is...

    And Californicator, I love how your original response sucked, and then after my remarks of how bad it sucked, you rewrote to try to impress me with your horrible use of the English language you corrected my grammar.. Sad

    It took you proximally <----- spelled like that to give you a hard on, four nights to try to come up with something good enough to impress me as you corrected my grammar trying to use a flurry of high caliber words???

    And it still didn't... Looks like all you did was call your pal Mercer to double-team me, because it took two to tackle one :)))

    Give it up, you can never outdo me!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Mercer??? Wow. Seriously dude. You need a life big time. This wacko googled my name and followed me to the other posts and said I had a sad and pathetic life. Just simply hysterical.

    This coming from someone, mind you, that just followed me around as a stalker to tell me I had a sad and pathetic life... Talk about pot calling the kettle black.

    LMAO!!! U2 funny Mercer. But one thing is for sure, I would hate to have your life that you're so bored you have to follow me around. But then again, followers always follow leaders::.

    ReplyDelete
  21. No moron. I did not Google your name. If you weren't a brain-dead idiot, you would know that all I have to do is click on your name in your moronic posts to see your Google Account.

    You would hate to have my life? Seriously? This coming from a person who goes on a hate-filled rampage every Valentines Day? BWAHAHAAHAHA!!!!!!! Oh my goodness....so funny. Do you post hate-critiques to the porn stars you don't like the same way you spew vitriol to random people on the internet? I can see it now:

    "THIS VIDEO is all teh big stupid!!! PLOT makes no sense@!!!!! I was a plumberer for 45 years and no womens ever offereered to pay me with sexual fun. Complete fakeness!!!!"

    Too bad you don't have any friends to come to your aid. Fuck off wanker, or I'll wait for you at Stoner's Joint Pizza and beat your ass.

    ReplyDelete
  22. There are few things in this world more HUSTERICAL then somebody who has keyboard muscles and threatens to beat someone's ass from the safety and comfort of their own home. WOW!! You must be sooooooooo tough. I am soooooo afraid of you MERCER.

    Please, please don't wait for me outside of a restaurant, not even knowing what I look like, randomly beating the fuck out of everybody hoping one of them is me. PLEASE???

    LMAO. What a complete fucking moronic idiot you are. ROFLMAO!!!!

    And it seems like you two are sure filled with a lot of sexual comments about porn. My oh my, are you sexually frustrated Mercer? Both you and her have mentioned porn, masturbation and sexual comments in every post.

    I think it's blatantly obvious who goes to porn sites... Judging by that pic of yours, looks to me like somebody had already smacked the fuck out of you several times already and you have PTSD. ROFLMAO.

    In all of my Internet travels, you have got to be the biggest loser I have come across Mercer. Trying to use big words that make no sense at all.

    No doubt, you're definitely the type asswipe to reread your post over and over and over and over, giggling at how funny you thought you were, no doubt, severely underestimating what a total loss of life degenerate you are :))))

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for proving my point. Good luck honey!

      Delete
  23. Why does any of this matter? It's a book. Who cares? Details change as people's memories change. That I have no doubt. No one is ever u influenced by the environment around them in which they write. (Read Virginia Woolf). But the timd and energy you've devoted to dissecting her book would be much better devoted to just living your own life, don't you think?

    Also the guy they think interviewed her for the Hobo Times has passed away and his daughter was brought much comfort and joy by the whole encounter in the book. Let people have that. It really doesn't matter. Grief is an unyielding, unending battle. Any comfort we can bring each other- let it be.

    Compassion- it is to suffer with.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I honestly cannot decipher that first paragraph.

      The second makes zero sense...they guy they THINK interviewed her?

      It makes people feel "good" to believe in a sky ghost who fixes football games and asks people to drink his blood. The problem is people are now claiming the sky ghost wants us to kill gays, shoot brown kids, and arrest people for being poor. Can you get that what makes us "feel good" isn't always good for us? Now go ask the people who have lost loved ones to hiking accidents over the past couple of years since they ran out onto the PCT with a bottle of gatorade, a pair of flip-flips, and a copy of Wild.

      English - is it what you suffer without.

      Delete
  24. I think she is awesome and the movie Wild is a great flick 2 watch... Don't hate... I congratulate... She did that and she inspired me to hike that trail in my Nike's... Just do it... Xoxoxo says Rainbow

    ReplyDelete
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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
  25. "Why does any of this matter? It's a book. Who cares? Details change as people's memories change"

    It matter greatly for several reasons.

    First that CS lied about distance and her experiences has 'inspired' and I use that term loosely many people to "hike like wild" with barely any prep or plan. This has led to numermous people needed to rescued from trials a huge drain on local resources.

    Secondly the bottom line is CS is taking credit for something SHE DIDN'T DO. This would be no different if I started medical school, failed a few classes, dropped out, started attending part time, dropped out for good.

    Then wrote a memoir about how despite many issues graduated Valor Victorian of my medical school class.

    that would be a slap in the face to the member of that graduating class.

    CS portraying herself as "Queen of the PCT" is disrespectful to everyone who has actually hiked the trail.

    and $20 bucks says that's not your real name "breedlove"? AYFKM?

    ReplyDelete